Since I updated my Instagram bio I have had people ask me if they can use what I wrote. I also get asked how to deal with people who try to invalidate my sexuality because I have truly only ever dated men. It is simple, and I believe the best advice is given in the fewest words so I use Dr. Seuss’ saying: “People that mind don’t matter and people that matter don’t mind.”
With each step forward I became liberated and excited to live life the way that felt best for me. Now as a graduate student athlete at the University of Pittsburgh, I have really begun to draw more attention to understanding there are several parts of my identity.
Being bisexual is one and being an athlete is another, but I am so much more than these two pieces. I am a leader and continue to grow as a leader by being part of an inaugural ACC lacrosse program and setting the standard here at Pittsburgh.
Unlike most Division I athletes, I picked up lacrosse later in life, in the 10th grade, by joining the inaugural varsity lacrosse program at Vernon Verona Sherrill High School. I loved how every practice I learned something new and quickly lacrosse became my world.
When I left Binghamton University, after seeing little playing time on the field, I decided to walk on to Siena College’s women’s lacrosse team. One person gave me a chance and developed me into a fierce player. Coach Abigail Rehfuss saw my potential and knew I was talented enough to be a competitive Division I one player.
After spending each day watching film, working on my stick skills and growing stronger and faster, I found myself in a starting position in my first game as a Saint. By the end of the season I was selected as an All-MAAC first team defender, named to the MAAC All-Tournament team and led the team in caused turnovers.
I am now at Pitt and I am very indebted to coach Emily Boissonneault. As a coach in the ACC, she could have picked anyone — high school All Americans or other graduate transfers from big name conferences — and yet here I was, really only having one solid year of playing and contributing in a collegiate lacrosse season and she gave me a chance. From a no-name, high school recruit to a walk on in the MAAC to an ACC player is something I still don’t believe is real.
As well as being engaged as an active advocate and ally, I am a public policy student at the Pitt’s Graduate School of Public and International Affairs where I learn about human rights. I think it is extremely important for stories like mine and other people of the LGBTQ+ community to come out so the world can begin to understand who we are hurting and how we can listen to, feel empathy for, and adjust our behavior.
I am the student leader of the Ally Affinity Group at Pitt, which is a subcommittee of the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion subcommittee of our Student Athlete Advisory Committee.
I work each day to be a better ally even if I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community because we are not the only community that constantly gets neglected and suppressed. International, BIPOC, Deaf, Faith/Religious groups and others need our support and need us all to be better.
I hope someday that coming out does not have to be a thing or does not have to be a big announcement or story. In the near future I wish for all sexualities to be considered natural in a world with less assumptions and less discrimination.