Matt Palumb delivered a message we could all probably use at this time.

The head official for the Premier Lacrosse League Championship Series, Palumb approached fiery Redwoods attackman Matt Kavanagh during a timeout a couple minutes before halftime of a July 29 group play game against Chaos.

“Talk to me like a human being and we’ll get further,” Palumb told Kavanagh. 

In most games, the advice would have stayed between the referee and player. Not in the PLL. The exchange got picked up on the NBC Sports broadcast, then blew up on Twitter almost immediately after the league posted it at 11:46 p.m. Eastern time — accruing around 45,000 views and 1,000 likes. 

“Words for the ages,” one commenter replied. 

“Ref’s been the most unexpectedly entertaining personality in the 2020 PLL season,” another added. “Already a legend!”

To be fair, Palumb was a legend in the lacrosse world long before his “active” (his word) personality led social media commentators to ask when the PLL will add his yellow No. 44 jersey to the league’s shop and wonder, “Is it normal for a ref to be as epic as Matt Palumb?”

A three-time NCAA champion goalie at Syracuse who had a 40-2 record as a starter, Palumb has achieved a similarly impressive career as an official for more than 30 years. In 2016, the same year he was inducted into the Greater Syracuse Sports Hall of Fame, he was between the lines for the epic NCAA men’s lacrosse championship game between North Carolina and Maryland. It was Palumb’s fourth time presiding over the biggest stage in the sport. He has officiated world championships, eight Major League Lacrosse championships, more than a dozen NCAA final fours and almost every level in between.

“If I am healthy and ready to go,” Palumb said, “I would pretty much ref anywhere.”

“I don’t know if any other sport has a guy like Matt that was a star in his playing days and carried it over to being a star in the refereeing profession,” said Chrome goalie John Galloway, a two-time first-team All-American at Syracuse and the NCAA’s all-time leader in wins. 

Although Palumb doesn’t let Galloway forget who has more national championship rings (Galloway won two), he does not flaunt his prominent track record as a player. Nor does he make the games he officiates about him.

But in a league with mic’d up players and immersive television broadcasts, it’s almost impossible to hide behind the curtain.

“He's not trying to be the show,” Maryland coach John Tillman said. “He just wants to make sure the game is played the way it's supposed to be played.”

Palumb has earned the respect of coaches and players across the country, so he does not worry about his clout. Though he liked the video of his exchange with Kavanagh and talks about the clips with his 16-year-old son, Jackson, he stays away from the digital dialogue. He created a Twitter account in September of 2013, yet he’s never tweeted. 

“That would be initiating a conversation,” said Palumb, who doesn’t have an Instagram account either. “And that’s not what refereeing is all about.”

Palumb, 52, considers the profession an art. He was still in college and had yet to earn his degree in psychology (appropriate) when he started refereeing. He has been an NCAA basketball official (32 years) longer than he has been an NCAA lacrosse official (28 years). Palumb takes pride in his people skills and oversees the game with a light, yet confident touch. He’s not afraid to tell you what he thinks and always lends an ear and provides an answer. 

“He’ll hear you out,” Tillman said, while also noting one of Palumb’s greatest strengths is his communication. “If you’re asking for clarity, he’ll take the time to tell you what he saw.”

Palumb also likes to have little fun and tamp down any unnecessary tension when there’s a break in the action.

“These are games and we have to remember that,” he said. “It’s OK to have a little laugh here and there and enjoy it. That’s why we all got into it.” 

When the PLL started their search for a head official last year, Seth Tierney had one name at the top of his list. 

“Matt is a player’s official,” said Tierney, who in addition to his roles as the men’s lacrosse coach at Hofstra and an assistant for Team USA is the PLL’s head of competition. “The biggest compliment I can give him is he cares. He wants to do the right thing, and he wants players to understand how much he wants to get it right.”

Palumb’s poise and endurance have been put to the test over the past two weeks. On Sunday, he’ll serve as the head official for his 17th game in 16 days. Even when Dave Pinciaro has worn the gold cap for three games, Palumb doesn’t get a day off. He and his five-man crew have worked every game of the Championship Series. Four officials cover the field while two others focus on the shot clock and help with penalty time. Palumb worked with Tierney to approve using four refs on the field as opposed to three like they had last year, but it’s still been a grind. 

“Oh my God,” Palumb thought during the opening weekend of the fanless and fully quarantined tournament at Zions Bank Stadium in Herriman, Utah. “This is going to be a long stretch.”

The last lacrosse game Palumb officiated before the Championship Series was a blowout 16-4 win by Georgetown at Towson on March 7. He planned to head down to College Park for a top-20 matchup between Maryland and Virginia the next weekend after working the MAAC basketball tournament at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City. He described the schedule as “a week from heaven.” That was, until March 12 happened. The COVID-19 pandemic halted the tournament and, as Palumb said, “The s--- hit the fan.”  

He’s not sure the last time he went four months without running the floor or the field with a whistle in his mouth. Before Palumb embarked on one of the most storied careers in Syracuse’s vaunted lacrosse history, he was a 19-year-old freshman who needed a way to get around campus. His grandfather passed down a 1973 Dodge Dart. Problem was, Palumb didn’t have enough money for gas. His father, Pete, who coached football at West Genesee High School in Central New York and reffed high school basketball in the winter, suggested Matty give it a try. 

When Palumb realized he could walk back to his dorm room with $38 after an hour-and-a-half of work doing two rec league games, he was hooked.

“I had the best pocket cash in college,” he said. “I wasn’t working at McDonald’s for $3 or $4 an hour.” 

The more reps Palumb got, the more he discovered officiating came naturally to him. It was also the biggest test of his character, people skills and composure.

“It was probably the single most important thing that I was involved with that made me become a man, so to speak,” he said. 

Palumb started officiating lacrosse in 1992 and began to work his way up the ladder. While Palumb refs with the same passion and enthusiasm he used to display in the crease, he has let go of the player’s mentality. He even switched from No. 10 to No. 44 (worn by Jim Brown, Ernie Davis and Floyd Little at Syracuse) to help forge a new identity.

But Palumb’s playing past does help him understand the flow of the game. In every situation, he still asks himself, “How would I like to be treated if I was a player here?” 

That’s why Palumb talks constantly to coaches and players. He believes the best officials prevent situations from escalating with their words. He’ll talk players out of bad picks or swinging too hard on their checks. The goal is to minimize interruptions and stay out of the way, except when needed. 

“You don't want to be an ‘I got you’ guy,” Palumb said. “I'd rather talk to you before and prevent it.”

Over much of the past three decades, Palumb balanced officiating with other jobs like being the athletic director at The Bement School in Massachusetts, a sales representative for Cascade and most recently the director of donor relations for Syracuse’s Orange Club.

But in 2017, Palumb left the job at his alma mater to pursue “the great American dream” of officiating full time. 

“I am very fortunate to be able to pay my bills and have a little fun and wake up every day loving going to work,” he said. 

In a typical year, Palumb referees upwards of 100 games. This has not been a typical year. The PLL Championship Series provided something to look forward to and a goal to get back up to speed.

During the basketball season, Palumb’s right knee — the same one that forced him to wear a brace his sophomore year at Syracuse and helped spawn his iconic orange football pants — kept nagging him. When sports shut down, he got it scoped and “cleaned up” by orthopedic surgeon Dr. John Cannizzaro. Palumb worked his way back into shape by swimming and riding a stationary bike, but he didn’t have to worry too much about putting on weight to his naturally lean frame. 

The past two weeks have posed a unique challenge both physically and mentally. Not only have the temperatures soared above 100 degrees in Utah, with the field sometimes registering an almost incomprehensible 140, but speed of the game with a 52-second shot clock — and persistent chatter — requires constant vigilance.

“It's fast and physical and everyone has an opinion,” Palumb said. “It's not like college, where you are just dealing with the coach. At this level, you have many coaches playing in this league and they are used to voicing their opinion.”

Those opinions are amplified by the microphones that the coaches and several players wear during games. When Palumb addresses players and coaches, he assumes everyone in the country will hear him. Many players have been less censored. 

Much of the discussion over the opening weekend centered around the trash talk spewed by Chrome attackman Matt Gaudet and the game-long monologue Redwoods attackman Ryder Garnsey directed at the officials. The most talked about penalty came when those teams faced off in group play. Redwoods Garrett Epple cross-checked Gaudet twice in the head after he knocked him to the turf. The late hit sparked outrage on Twitter after Epple was not ejected but instead served a pair of one-minute non-releasable penalties. The next day, the PLL announced Epple would be suspended for one game and levied an undisclosed maximum fine.

While Palumb has developed an intimate understanding of players’ tendencies so he can be aware of them, he said the worst thing you can do is anticipate a call. He also doesn’t let past behavior influence future outcomes. It’s never personal. 

“The biggest misconception is that we hold grudges or care who wins,” he said. “That couldn't be anything further from the truth. Film does not lie. Regardless of who the personnel is or who's coaching, we're reffing plays, not people."

Palumb continues to chase the perfect game in an imperfect profession. Mistakes are inevitable. They’re also difficult to shake off and drive Palumb to continually improve. 

“The one saying that he had that has stuck with me this far is, ‘When we have a bad game or we make a bad call, people think we just go on living like nothing happened,’” Tierney said of his former collegiate competitor and now colleague. “‘It stays with us more than people think.’” 

Palumb admitted the first few games at Zions Bank Stadium were a bit clunky. But like the players on the field, the officials have gotten sharper as the tournament has progressed. And despite a small cut on Palumb’s left shin when a helmet caught him on a faceoff, he has made it through the Championship Series mostly unscathed. 

A couple players might ignore him when they pass by in the halls of the SpringHill Suites by Marriott Salt Lake City, but Palumb knows everyone is out here trying to do their best. Galloway can’t tell you how many times he has hugged Palumb during a timeout after a heated discussion a couple minutes prior.

“He’s one of the kindest, most enjoyable souls in the sport,” Galloway said. 

While Palumb said all of the coaches and “99 percent” of the players are great guys he’d sit down and have a beer with, the camaraderie with the other officials during the Championship Series has been a “lifesaver.” Normally after a game, Palumb would get in his car and drive home alone. But after each night’s Championship Series slate concludes, the crew often orders a pizza and breaks down the games. 

Just don’t expect Palumb to chime in on his soundbites anytime soon. 

“I love refereeing in this league, but not because of Twitter,” he said. “I love refereeing in the league because I have the opportunity to referee the best players in the world every summer and there is nothing like it. These kids are incredible.”