“Off the Collar” is a series produced by James Madison Athletics to allow its student-athletes to tell their own stories and provide a glimpse into the student-athlete experience in their unique voice, while providing a close, direct connection between JMU fans and the student-athletes they support. This story is being republished with permission from the University.

If you want to know why I’m still here, you’ve come to the right place.

Contrary to popular belief, I really did plan that my time at JMU was going to be a normal four-year deal. At least when I committed at the age of 15, my initial goal was not to seemingly stay in college forever, even though sometimes it feels that way.

The truth is that my journey has been very different from any other athlete I have ever met.

Six years is a long time for anyone to stay in one place, let alone college. Feeling stagnant at first upon my return this fall, I was confused about exactly why I’m still here.

Obviously, unpacking this idea led me to believe that I was wasting precious time out in the working world. Thinking that I was missing out on the opportunities that departing college would provide clouded my vision and made me wonder what I was actually doing.

So, to get really anything straight right out of the gate, I’m still here in order to use the best gift I was given by JMU: time. If you ask anyone the one thing they really want in life, its more time doing what they love. For me, that means playing the game of lacrosse.

I’ve been given six attempts to be a part of a championship team. That is two more than the average player on our team, and more than many other teams who never get the opportunity to compete in the post season.

That is something special, something uncommon. To me, I could not understand why someone would not take advantage of capitalizing on every chance they were given. To many others who look on, they cannot understand why I haven’t just given up, moved on, and closed this chapter of my life.

In all honesty, these people haven’t played with my teammates. They don’t understand that every year is different. They cannot see that being a part of this team is so much more that comes with playing the game of lacrosse.

Being on the field has always been my happy place. No matter the day I was having, somehow, I was able to laugh, joke and find a way to get lost in playing. The crease has been the singular safe entity where I have found comfort in being my true self without being told to dilute my personality.

This feeling of getting lost in the moment, letting the game come to me, that is what I call chasing the feeling. I would like to think that most elite athletes know what I’m referring to when I say, ‘chase the feeling,’ however I’m not sure if they all do.

It’s the feeling that comes when everything goes perfectly without forethought. Body and mind moving seamlessly together in an anticipatory fashion in perfect harmony with teammates. When an athletic symphony is choreographed without a word in order to produce an almost out of body experience.

That is the motivation I have each day. In an essence, I came back to chase the feeling with the people who make the pursuit worthwhile.

Realizing that this is my final year playing as a JMU Duke, I came in with my goals set on very tangible outcomes. The most coveted one being a fifth and final CAA championship.

When JMU announced its move to the Sun Belt Conference, departing CAA bylaws barred many teams, including mine, from competing in postseason tournament play.

It was at this moment that I felt I had no idea why I came back. I felt lost in a moment of darkness. I was unable to comprehend how the CAA could allow this to happen to a school that put the conference on the map nationally.

As some time passed, it became clear to our program that we had to think bigger. If we wanted to meet our goals, we had to come at them from a different angle.

It’s no secret that JMU women’s lacrosse won the program’s first-ever national championship in 2018. Even though it has been four years since that season, each year since our goal has been getting back to Championship Weekend.

This is the year we know it has to happen, as we are without a conference and must secure an at-large bid to the NCAA tournament. This means that without an automatic qualification, each and every game is an equally important opportunity to showcase just who the Dukes are in 2022.

With the beginning of our season fast approaching, we have the opportunity to start this year the same place we did in 2018: Sentara Park against a talented UNC team. It’s my final season with this program, and it is time to start our chase.

Sincerely,

Molly Dougherty