“Off the Collar” is a series produced by James Madison Athletics to allow its student-athletes to tell their own stories and provide a glimpse into the student-athlete experience in their unique voice, while providing a close, direct connection between JMU fans and the student-athletes they support. This story is being republished with permission from the University.
If you want to know why I’m still here, you’ve come to the right place.
Contrary to popular belief, I really did plan that my time at JMU was going to be a normal four-year deal. At least when I committed at the age of 15, my initial goal was not to seemingly stay in college forever, even though sometimes it feels that way.
The truth is that my journey has been very different from any other athlete I have ever met.
Six years is a long time for anyone to stay in one place, let alone college. Feeling stagnant at first upon my return this fall, I was confused about exactly why I’m still here.
Obviously, unpacking this idea led me to believe that I was wasting precious time out in the working world. Thinking that I was missing out on the opportunities that departing college would provide clouded my vision and made me wonder what I was actually doing.
So, to get really anything straight right out of the gate, I’m still here in order to use the best gift I was given by JMU: time. If you ask anyone the one thing they really want in life, its more time doing what they love. For me, that means playing the game of lacrosse.
I’ve been given six attempts to be a part of a championship team. That is two more than the average player on our team, and more than many other teams who never get the opportunity to compete in the post season.
That is something special, something uncommon. To me, I could not understand why someone would not take advantage of capitalizing on every chance they were given. To many others who look on, they cannot understand why I haven’t just given up, moved on, and closed this chapter of my life.
In all honesty, these people haven’t played with my teammates. They don’t understand that every year is different. They cannot see that being a part of this team is so much more that comes with playing the game of lacrosse.
Being on the field has always been my happy place. No matter the day I was having, somehow, I was able to laugh, joke and find a way to get lost in playing. The crease has been the singular safe entity where I have found comfort in being my true self without being told to dilute my personality.
This feeling of getting lost in the moment, letting the game come to me, that is what I call chasing the feeling. I would like to think that most elite athletes know what I’m referring to when I say, ‘chase the feeling,’ however I’m not sure if they all do.
It’s the feeling that comes when everything goes perfectly without forethought. Body and mind moving seamlessly together in an anticipatory fashion in perfect harmony with teammates. When an athletic symphony is choreographed without a word in order to produce an almost out of body experience.
That is the motivation I have each day. In an essence, I came back to chase the feeling with the people who make the pursuit worthwhile.
