The Psychological Consequences of Bad Sportsmanship

This article appears in the April edition of USA Lacrosse Magazine. Join our momentum.

The decline in sportsmanship has significant psychological and developmental consequences for young athletes. Poor adult behavior — whether from parents, coaches, or spectators — creates an environment that is not conducive to learning, enjoyment or emotional well-being.

We asked three leading professionals in sports psychology and mental performance about these negative effects and how to cope with them.

PROCESS VS. OUTCOME

Increased competition, social media influence and emphasis on personal or financial gain over personal growth were cited as contributing factors.

“There’s a win-at-all-cost mentality with a focus on outcomes rather than process,” said Dr. Andrew Wolanin, a Philadelphia-area sports psychologist and member of the USA Lacrosse Sports Science and Safety Committee. “When you focus on stick development for a 12-year-old, you don’t worry about missing the ball during a game.”

Parents should ask themselves why they got their child into sports in the first place.

“It’s because you recognize sports teach them values and responsibility. It helps them grow psychologically, emotionally and socially,” said Dr. Jonathan Jenkins, a Boston-based sports psychologist and former lacrosse player who works with the NFL’s New England Patriots. “If that’s the case, you’ve got to let that process happen."

TRIGGER POINTS

Dr. Stephanie Coakley emphasized that disruptive behavior from parents can trigger anxiety, embarrassment and shame in young athletes, which can have lasting psychological effects. Especially so if there’s a family history of violence.

“It’s hard for a child not to hear their parent’s voice,” said Coakley, a certified mental performance consultant and senior associate athletic director at Temple. “That’s the voice they’ve heard their entire life.”

The effects differ by age and developmental level, Wolanin explained.

“For younger kids, it can impact social skill development and engagement with a society where rules are in place,” he said. “For teenagers, we start to see more of an individual impact of self-criticism, anxiety, depression and eating disorders. When they try to meet expectations that are not realistic, that can lead to unhealthy thoughts about oneself and then behavior that tries to change that in some way.”

WHAT ATHLETES CAN DO

It’s unfair to ask kids to do the parenting. But if they’re up to it, they can be powerful change agents. “When my 6-year-old calls me out on something, it hits a little bit different than when my wife does it,” Jenkins said.

Tell your parents how their behavior makes you feel. But don’t do it in the heat of the moment. “If I’m going to fix a boat, it makes no sense for me to fix it during a storm,” Jenkins said. “Fix the boat when the water is calm.”

Ask them to watch games from a spot that’s farther from the field or bench area.

Invite extended family members (aunts, uncles, godparents, etc.) who could help regulate your parents. “Another adult who might be more grounded and in control,” Coakley said. “They don’t have as much stake in the outcome. They are just there to support you.”