From the Editor: It's on Parents to Set Sport Boundaries

This article appeared in the February edition of USA Lacrosse Magazine, a benefit of USA Lacrosse membership. Join our momentum.

THE DRY ERASE CALENDAR magnetically affixed to the front of the refrigerator tells me all I need to know about the year-roundedness of travel youth sports.

It never ends, am I right? One season bleeds into the next, and the coach starts hounding you to commit to the so-called optional offseason stuff before you even know the schedule for your in-season sport.

“He’s getting to an age,” the coach warns, “where he has to choose.”

That’s a red flag. Imagine someone telling Pat Spencer’s parents he had to choose between basketball or lacrosse, depriving the world of his brilliance in one sport so he could specialize in another.

As athletes and parents, we need to prioritize our sports commitments and stick to those priorities. For my family, that means in-season travel takes precedence over in-season rec, then out-of-season sports.

And if somewhere in between the kid wants to spend his Sunday fishing with his uncle or playing in the neighborhood rather than suiting up for an offseason scrimmage, that’s his right and we support it.

It’s OK to say no.

Parents have more power than we realize. Think about it. Would the coach really care this much if your kid was in danger of not making the team the next season? No. They would more likely be relieved not to carry dead weight on the bench. They save the pressure campaign for those players they want on the field.

My parents were big on honoring our commitments. If we signed up for a club or team, we pledged 100-percent attendance and to meet all the requirements.

But that also came at a time when the team party was a true rite of separation, signaling a nine-month reprieve from that sport while we pursued other endeavors. I do miss that seasonality.

Now it’s on us to set boundaries, to create the space that will allow hearts to grow fonder for a sport by committing to a periodic absence from it.

It’s February, the time of year when sunlight lingers longer and warmer climes await. In this edition, we herald the onset of a new college lacrosse season.

And a time to every purpose.