Before we exit the bubble, let’s take the time to acknowledge so many in the sport who have spoken up in the last week. Not just Kyle Harrison or Trevor Baptiste or those of color, but a number of white players and coaches too. We appreciate you shouting and standing with us. We look forward to watching you in action and being an agent of change. We need you to call things out. Progress doesn’t happen without you.
As a person of color involved in lacrosse, it’s been difficult at times to speak candidly on issues of diversity and race. I’ll admit, I haven’t said enough or done enough. At times when I have spoken or written about it, I’ve worried it would impact or compromise my position in the sport. I justified it as an act of self-preservation, but looking back, it feels selfish.
There’s a fear that comes with being an “other.” We recognize that no one in the power structure looks like us and that often means they don’t understand us and our points of view. We are made to realize that our acceptance, survival and success in the world depends on suffering some of the silent slings and arrows of racism and discrimination.
We have to be careful how we navigate the waters as an “other.” Be black, but not too black so that you make those around you uncomfortable. Be brown, but don’t remind us that you’re brown and that you have an ethnic name. Be a Native American, but try to check a few of your customs at the door before entering.
We want to fit in, but does that mean we sacrifice some values along the way? We want to speak up, but is it worth risking our livelihood and passion? So, we appease. We massage our message so others won’t feel uncomfortable. We find gentler ways to say it or we just don’t hit send.
But that didn’t work either. In 2014, I had some racial slurs hurled at me while covering championship weekend. I thought then about tweeting or sharing what happened, but I didn’t have any video and I thought about what it would mean for the sport at large to put that story out on the biggest weekend of the year. So, I said nothing and carried on.
I had a coach once ask pointedly how “someone like me” got into lacrosse. Did he mean someone who never played the game or something more? Then I realized, if he wanted to know if I played lacrosse, he would have asked me that. But I let it go. I didn’t want to upset the apple cart. I’ve seen social media attacks laced with racism more times than I can count. It never stuns me if a tweet opining about sports is met by hate or racism instead of civil dissent.
You can drive yourself insane taking offense at all comers, but it’s foolish to dismiss what lies on and beneath the surface entirely. It’s time to acknowledge that persons of color have traversed a different path. Rich, poor, or in the middle – we’ve all been reduced to the color of our skin at some point. We’ve also been told to stay silent too long.
I fully expect mandates of silence whenever this article gets published.
If you don’t like it, get out. Leave. We don’t want you.
Well, tough s---. There may not be many of us persons of color in lacrosse. But we do exist. None of us are leaving. Being treated like equals is our basic human right. As uncomfortable as the conversation may make you, it doesn’t compare to some of our experiences.
You can love your parents, but similarly can admit they have faults. We can love our country and still demand better treatment for black Americans and minorities. I don’t expect lacrosse to change overnight and cater to people of color tomorrow or immediately understand that our journey is radically different because of skin tone.
But the time of silence has passed. The volume is up. We are no longer afraid of speaking up on these matters. You may not want to hear it. But you can no longer ignore it. We’ll keep talking until the message is heard. We’ll keep pushing forward. Some will inevitably stay behind. I hope most will march ahead.
Perhaps one day, we will make things better.