At the recent US Lacrosse Convention in Philadelphia, I addressed a group about coaching leadership and the requirements for success — about surrounding yourself with good people and doing the things that foster loyalty.
It led to a discussion about recruiting and how, early in my career, I came to grips with two important principles: I was a better coach when I had good players, and I was going to have to spend so much time recruiting that I needed to learn to enjoy the process.
To find good people and keep them, I lived by the recruiting mantra, “Make it personal. Don’t take it personally.” When I had people in my office, we would talk about them, about my family, their family, current events — things that I was truly interested in talking about.
Yes, I had to get some information to them, but what energized me about this potential relationship? I would talk about and send recruits information about any variety of material. I am sure many of them thought to themselves, “What the heck did he send me today?”
But they liked getting it — politics, music, articles that I had read about any topic that touched me in some way, things completely off the beaten path.
Loosen up. Don’t be afraid to stick your neck out when you are approaching a recruit and his family, or a staff member. Distinguish yourself. Show some vulnerability. Help people get to know you. Let them know you care.
I am sure that every coach has said to his players that “practice is the best part of my day.” It often was for me, and if you feel that way, show it. When that joy is real, it has an infectious impact on all those around you.
I am here to remind you that time moves so swiftly — that while you cannot nearly control all the outcomes, don’t let the process get away. I believe the key to an extended, happy and fulfilled career is to live for this joyous moment. I can still hear myself encouraging the players to “dazzle me with consistency.”
Learn to love and to be your authentic self.
DOM STARSIA, A NATIONAL LACROSSE HALL OF FAMER, IS ONE OF THE WINNINGEST COACHES IN NCAA HISTORY AND A MEMBER OF THE LACROSSE ADVISORY BOARD OF THE PREMIER LACROSSE LEAGUE (@DOMSTARSIAPLL). HE WAS A TWO-TIME ALL-AMERICAN DEFENSEMAN AT BROWN AND PLAYED FOR THE U.S. TEAM IN 1978. His Book, “I Hope You Will Be Very Happy,” is available on Amazon.