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Alexa Spallina

Three Brothers Made Syracuse ‘Home’ for Top Recruit Alexa Spallina

September 27, 2023
Beth Ann Mayer
Spallina Family

The Syracuse men’s lacrosse program was built largely on sibling ties that have become some of the sport’s most legendary last names — the Gaits (Paul and Gary) and the Powells (Casey, Mike and Ryan) being the most prominent.

But Joey, Brett and Jake Spallina are doing something neither of those greats did: Bringing their sister along for the ride.

Or, helping get Alexa Spallina to Syracuse, where she’ll look to make history of her own with the Syracuse women’s program beginning in the spring of 2026. The attacker out of Mount Sinai (N.Y.) was named Inside Lacrosse’s No. 1 recruit in late August. Last week, she committed to Syracuse, becoming the second Spallina to choose the Orange as the nation’s No. 1 player in their age group. Joey did the same in 2021.

Donning the coveted No. 22 once sported by Gary Gait and all three Powell brothers, Joey became the ACC Rookie of the Year after a successful freshman campaign in 2023.

It was the eldest who broke the news to his younger sister that she, too, had been selected as the top player in her class. Joey was quick to offer some brotherly advice.

“He told me to take my time and that no one should rush you through the process,” Alexa said.

Her father, Joe, told her the same. Attention is nothing new to the Spallina family because of their dad. Over the last decade, he has developed a Stony Brook team from the basement of the America East into a team that perennially ranks somewhere in the top 10 in the country. He previously won three national championships at Adelphi and claimed Major League Lacrosse titles as an assistant and head coach of the Lizards. Last summer, he was an assistant for the U.S. Women’s National Team, which won a world championship. In short, the Spallina name has carried its own set of expectations over the years — it’s fueled the fire.

“A lot of it that people don’t realize about Alexa and Joey is that they had to deal with a lot of exterior pressure growing up, a different kind of standard than most kids from being around the sport and having the pressure from a young age,” Joe said. “They handled it really well. Alexa played her best lacrosse this summer when she had all eyes on her.”

Inside Lacrosse’s assessment of the top women’s player in the 2025 class was glowing. Unsurprisingly, of course.

“A quarterbacking role comes naturally to the 5-9 attacker, who plays primarily at X with the ability to beat her defender off the dodge or find an open cutter after drawing a slide,” the publication said. “There’s no moment too big for Spallina, boasting the on-field confidence as someone who wants the ball when the game is on the line.”

Alexa had every reason to feel confident heading into the recruiting period, which kicked off at midnight on Sept. 1.

“She had the cheat code of having a college coach in the house as her dad and then having a brother, who was the No. 1 recruit in the country and all the things that go along with that,” Joe said. “She was as prepared as she could be, but you don’t really know until you’re living it.”

Living it meant upwards of 50 programs reaching out to gauge her interest.

“Midnight strikes, and there’s all these calls and texts and more calls and coaches calling my wife’s [Mary Beth] phone because they know Alexa is going to be tied up,” Joe said. “She handled it with poise.”

One coach didn’t have to call. He had a direct path to his daughter’s seat at the kitchen table.

“I’m a dad first,” Joe said. “That’s the biggest thing I can say, loud and clear … She and I are super close. It’s a unique relationship where she is the best of the best in her age group, and I coach a top-five program. Most of our conversations are about lacrosse. It’s about regular stuff.”

Stony Brook doesn’t typically get the blue-chippers. The program is built on the blue-collar diamonds in the rough. The Kylie Ohlmillers. The Courtney Murphys. The Ally Kennedys. But yes, the Seawolves went after this five-star recruit. In the end, they made the top three, along with Clemson and Syracuse.

At Clemson, football coach Dabo Swinney spoke with Alexa about being the Trevor Lawrence of the lacrosse program. Though Syracuse isn’t quite in the Spallina’s backyard — it’s about a six-hour drive, most of which is spent trying to get off Long Island — it had plenty of familiarity. The obvious? Her brothers, who were at the JMA Wireless Dome door to say hello. And the sport’s history at Syracuse isn’t lost on a player who grew up around the game.

“It’s the Dome,” Joe said. “Lacrosse is really important up there.”

Treanor’s playing style was close to Alexa’s, something she said piqued her interest in learning more from a coach lauded publicly and privately by her peers for being one of the sport’s best minds. One of Treanor’s assistants, Caitlin Defliese Watkins, was part of Joe’s staff at Adelphi and Stony Brook. Now a mother of two, Defliese Watkins has known Alexa since she was in diapers (the Spallina boys watched Defliese Watkins’ infant daughter for her while she helped give Alexa a tour).

“She’s family,” Joe said.

But so is Joe, and Stony Brook has been something of a playground for Alexa over the years. And so, she and her parents went on a tour of a campus Alexa could probably sleepwalk through. His assistants, Sydney Pirreca and Greg Miceli, took the lead.

“I was legitimately a dad,” Joe said. “My wife was there. Everything was fun and light, and then it got super real when it was time to try the uniform on for the photoshoot. That’s when it hit home. ‘I grew up watching that uniform.’… At that point, it was a lot of different years of following the team around and being a fan girl of Ally, Kylie and Murph. That was that one moment where it all kind of came together. That definitely made it a little trickier.”

Trickier, but when the emotions subsided, Alexa was clear-eyed and poised. The kid who grew up watching Stony Brook lacrosse games and retreating to her father’s office to watch Disney had grown up and made her own decision. Home was in the Dome. More specifically, home was with her brothers.

“When we got home, I said, ‘I feel like my home is Syracuse,’” Alexa said. “Getting the opportunity to play at the same school as my brothers is really cool. Playing for my dad would have been the same amount of cool, but Syracuse was where my heart was at.”

Talk to most parents of multiple kids, and they’ll tell you they loved their first child so much that they couldn’t imagine loving a second all the same. But many echo the same refrain for having another (or five, in the case of the Spallinas): Giving your first a best friend.

The truth is that life can get more complicated than that. Some people leave town for college to live out a narrative that’s the subject of many of Bruce Springsteen’s greatest hits: A chance to run, to peel out of the driveway at dawn with their high school graduation lying on the ground. Alexa may be leaving the Island next August, but she’s running to family, not away from it.

“I’d love to coach the No.1 player in the country, but my four kids want to be around each other,” Joe said. “That’s the best part of this whole thing. I’m an emotional guy. We always say family first, and we really mean it. My kids are best friends. My boys are sending us pictures, laughing all the time. For the four of them to be together during Joey’s senior year is awesome.”

Joe could make his way up to the Dome as a visiting team’s head coach that year. Stony Brook and Syracuse have squared off every year since 2020. Stony Brook doesn’t faceguard opponents’ top players, relying on its team-centered zone defense, which annually ranks highly in Division I, to do its job. Does he plan to make a special exception for his daughter?

Not a chance.

“I would not,” Joe said. “I don’t believe in faceguards, but I will definitely be chirping at a player on the other team. I can imagine the emotions of that, but it’ll be fun. I know Alexa will kick my butt [if I faceguard her]. She’s the only person in my house I’m scared of, so I wouldn’t do that.”