Finding Love Again: Myers Gains Perspective, New Lease as One Love CEO

As a writer, I’m acutely aware that the context of words matters in shaping an audience’s perspective. And yet, describing Julie Myers’ final game as head coach with adjectives like “heartbreaking” and “stunning” comes naturally until life and loss put it into perspective.

Now, it was, indeed, a tough loss for those who coached and played for Virginia. On May 12, 2023, the Cavaliers led Albany by seven goals in the second half of a first-round game in the NCAA tournament. Albany advanced with a 16-14 win.

Five weeks later, on June 21, Myers announced she was stepping away from the head coaching job she held for 28 years, a run that included a postseason trip in every year there was one, five ACC crowns and a national championship in 2004.

And yet context — and perspective — are important. Myers’ final game was nothing compared to what she had to lead Virginia through in 2010 when Yeardley Love, a senior midfielder who wore No. 1, was killed by her ex-boyfriend less than three weeks before graduation.

Love’s mother, Sharon, and sister, Lexie, founded the One Love Foundation to empower young people and those who care for them to recognize the signs of abusive relationship behaviors.

Myers’ final game wasn’t (and isn’t) her final act. In a full-circle moment — something that Sharon Love tells Myers “Yeardley made happen” — Myers is now the CEO of the One Love Foundation. It’s a role that has helped even Myers gain perspective, process one of her greatest losses and turn tragedy into a triumph for the next generation.

STEPPING AWAY

It was another family that lured Myers away from her decades-long coaching career: Her own. She’s seen a lot of lacrosse games in her life. But she realized that she’s largely missed out on most of her children’s, including her son, Timmy, a freshman for the Virginia men’s team in 2023. (Her daughter, Kelsey, plays for Stanford. Myers saw her play when the two teams met in February 2023, but she could not make most other games.) So, when her youngest, Kevin, graduated high school, Myers had an epiphany.

“All these parents [of my players] would always say, ‘Thank you for being with our kids and not your own,’ and I’d be like, ‘What are you talking about?’” Myers said. “I didn’t realize what I was missing until I was sitting at graduations. ‘Oh, they enjoy this part of parenting.’ And I’m like, ‘If I wait, stick out coaching, and we all finish their lacrosse careers at the same time, what am I giving up?’”

She called Colleen Shearer, her longtime associate head coach who was by her side when UVA won the national championship in 2004 and lost Love in 2010. While you can chalk Myers’ quick step down from UVA and into the role as CEO of One Love up to happenstance, this call was the first of a domino effect — fated or not — that led to Act Two.

REMEMBERING YEARDLEY

Myers’ new role wouldn’t have been possible without an unspeakable tragedy, one that, to this day, she would trade her current job to erase.

Myers recruited Love out of Notre Dame Preparatory School in Towson, Md. (“What if we didn’t?” was a question Shearer says the two asked more than once about a half-decade later.) Love wore the No. 1, which seems appropriate considering the name of the foundation founded in her honor. Yet the roster number was always a bit of a misnomer to those who knew Love — those with context and perspective on her.

“On our last trip with her to the ACCs, she grabbed her bag, and the bus driver said, ‘Well, you must be really good if you’re No. 1,’” Myers said. “She was embarrassed. ‘No, I just like No. 1.’”

She also liked giving. Myers recalled her embrace of every chance to entertain little kids while babysitting and give away much of her earnings from a summer job in New York City to help homeless people.

“I watched her grow up until the morning the phone rang,” Myers said.

In a cruel twist of fate, the voice on the other line had news of a murder caused by anything but Love.

“The call was along the lines of, ‘There has been an accident with a lot of blood,’” Myers said. “I said, ‘Well, where can I find her? Where can I find Yeardley?’”

Myers figured it was a car accident. She quickly learned her door had been broken down, and she was attacked. They asked Myers if she knew of anyone who would want to hurt Yeardley. In a line that haunts her today, she mentioned that she “used to date a jerk.”

Myers thought they had broken up for good. Love planned to graduate and move on and away from him. Myers believed Love was in a good place looking toward the future while also focused on contributing to a UVA team set to play in the NCAA tournament.

All that went out the window on May 3.

“It was the longest day, the craziest day, “Myers said. “It was unfathomable. It still is, in so many ways, unreal that it actually happened.”

Myers delivered the eulogy to a standing-room-only crowd sans tears. Then life moved on and paused all at once. Sharon Love gave her blessing for the team to keep playing. UVA wore T-shirts that read, “One Team. One Heart. One Love.” in warm-ups and beat Towson, the team that played in Notre Dame Prep’s backyard, 14-12.

The season ended, and the roster shifted. Love’s classmates graduated like she should have. Freshmen arrived, having not gone through the trauma of losing a teammate to murder. The team and coaching staff had all processed the events to varying degrees, including not at all.

“I definitely remember feeling just numb, and I think we went through the motions,” Shearer said. “I feel bad saying that for the kids on the team, but there’s no way that Julie and I were at our best. We felt so sad. Some of that was just, ‘She was a young girl. How does that happen?’ Some of it was guilt over bringing her to Virginia, even though we know it wasn’t our fault, and not understanding what was going on.”

Hindsight is tempting. Context is important. The relationship happened in the late 2000s before #MeToo became a trending hashtag in 2017 (a movement that started in 2006 by survivor and activist Tarana Burke) and shined a necessary spotlight on relationship abuse. And it wasn’t until the late 2010s and early 2020s that high-profile athletes like Michael Phelps, Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles helped break down the stigma surrounding mental health in athletics (an effort that also gained traction during the COVID-19 pandemic).

One of the pitfalls of happening before these milestone societal moments that shook the system was the pressure to be strong and move along. The expectation that athletes and those who coach them should be strong enough to sacrifice and white-knuckle through anything didn’t help.

But someone’s life isn’t a game.

ONE LOVE IS BORN

These days, Myers has so many photos of Love around her home and office you’d think she had four children. In the wake of Love’s death, her thoughts often went to her three biological little ones, who were in elementary and preschool at the time.

“How do I help my kids?” Myers remembered asking herself.

It wasn’t just needing to explain the inexplicable events leading up to and including Love’s murder but finding words to help them navigate relationships so that they knew the difference. She didn’t want her children to be abused or abuse others. Myers has had to give her share of halftime speeches, but she found herself at a loss for words when it came time to fathom how to discuss these topics with her children.

The One Love Foundation was founded in 2010 to help youth change the narrative. The tools and literature, like the 10 signs of unhealthy relationships, are geared toward teens and tweens, but anyone can benefit from reading them. Myers did. Yes, Myers and Virginia helped raise funds and external awareness for the foundation through games and events. But it was in quieter, unphotographed moments, Myers found the most value in the foundation’s mission — the ones she spent with her children and players. She put the signs on her fridge for her kids and their friends to read.

“It gave me the words and things to look for,” Myers said. “It’s things kids and adults can notice, whether it’s happening on their team, with friends or even watching TV and talking about the relationships you see. It helps give labels to emotions, which was super helpful with my own kids and their friends.”

MORE LOVE TO GIVE

Her kids were at the heart of Myers’ decision to leave a job she loved. But she wasn’t ready to retire to the sidelines (though she was looking forward to attending her children’s games as a spectator.) Her story with Love was able to begin another chapter.

It started when Shearer, now a coach for James Madison, ran into Sharon Love while eating lunch in a tent — something she rarely does on recruiting trips — at the Live Love Lax summer tournament. The One Love Foundation was in the process of hiring a new CEO. Shearer’s first question: Does the person have to be good at math? (It was not Myers’ strong suit, and the answer was no.) Do they have to work in an office? Also, no.

“I’m thinking of Julie the entire time,” Shearer said.

But Shearer didn’t say much else to Sharon Love, keeping her friend’s confidence. Myers hadn’t announced her retirement yet.

“I get my car, and I’m like, ‘Julie, One Love is going to hire a CEO. I have no idea if you know how to be a CEO. I don’t even know what the criteria are for a CEO. But I know that you know this situation better than anybody, and I know you can do it,’” Shearer said.

Shearer told her to contact Sharon Love. Myers did — immediately. They talked for hours.

“I didn’t even have a resume,” Myers said.

Lucky?

“Sharon [Love] and many of Yeardley’s teammates are cute,” Myers said. “They’re like, ‘Yeardley made this happen.’ It’s kind of hard to disagree with that.”

On June 21, Myers and UVA announced the end of an era. On June 28, Myers and One Love announced the start of a new one.

DIGGING IN

Myers misses coaching and loves what she gets to do, though the gig comes with some challenging moments. She looks at photos of Love and remembers the vibrant young woman she wishes she could save. She looks at pictures of her family and teammates — attends weddings — and thinks of the life she should have had a chance to live.

“When I found out I would never see her again, it was the most profound, unthinkable, horrible thing,” Myers said. “Lexie just had her fourth baby, and I’m like, ‘You should be an aunt.’”

And yet, “If we can’t have Yeardley, this is the next best thing,” Myers said.

Myers had processed the loss more in the last 12 months than she did in the 13 years between her death and taking the helm at One Love.

“Being in this work and having the ability and the expectation of talking about it with donors and the team that I work with at One Love has helped me,” Myers said.

When Myers talks, people listen. Morgan Gill knows this well. She played for Myers as a captain on her 2004 team and met Love during the recruiting process. Shortly after Myers was tapped as CEO, Gill joined the board of directors.

“When she tells the story from her point of view, it’s so powerful because she’s so honest,” Gill says. “It’s hard to hear, but it helps spread the message, makes people want to get more involved and be more honest and open with their personal experiences … and she’s such a positive figure in the lacrosse community, so that has an impact.”

Myers’ standing in the community brings more than a name to the leadership page on One Love’s website. It also meant she came with experience. She may never have officially been a CEO, but she had nearly three decades of experience leading one program to championships and through tragedy.

“At first, I’m like, ‘Well, gosh, I’ve only coached my entire life, what can I possibly do next?’” Myers said. “But a head coach is a CEO. You’re managing a team and a staff. You’ve got goals, measures, processes and strategy.”

Her current team operates out of seven states across multiple time zones. Her audience? Technically, the One Love Foundation is a national non-profit, but its message is spread worldwide via the Internet.

“We just got an email the other day with a picture that said, ‘Here’s our One Love workshop in Australia,’” Myers said. “The impact that Yeardley has had since her death is just amazing. And it makes you appreciate what you have and can do. Her family is so strong and wants to help the next mom, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle and teammate. They want people to understand what they didn’t in an effort to save somebody.”

Myers doesn’t do much math in her new role. But she can’t help but continue to keep score. She made it to nine Stanford women’s games for Kelsey, seven or eight UVA men’s games for Timmy and seven Hampden-Sydney men’s games for Kevin.

Myers is not a stranger to the Virginia women who saw success under Sonia LaMonica in 2024. She made six of those games, too, because the Cavs are, indeed, still family to her.

“The relationships with the current players and alumni, they’re my people, and they’re Sonia’s people now, too,” Myers said. “It’s shared.”

Myers is also blending past and present at One Love, meshing her personal experience with Love, coaching, and motherhood to build a future for the foundation and millions who can benefit from its resources. She hopes to start an endowment to help One Love remain sustainable, allowing Love’s legacy to live on.

She also has an eye on the changing recognition and need for awareness of how people identify, who they love and how they love. The goal is to “be there for people in all relationships and in all communities,” Myers said.

Mostly, Myers is now approaching every day with gratitude and a new perspective on life and love.

“I’m humbled, honored and proud to be doing what I am doing at One Love, but I am also so appreciative of all the players and families that I ever got to coach at Virginia, the coaches on my staff and across the Virginia athletics department and the administration,” Myers said. “I can’t believe one person could be this lucky twice, but I’m awfully appreciative of every step that influenced where I am today, so I look back with great memories, appreciation and gratitude for everyone who has been a part of it.”