The COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent cancellation of the remainder of the 2020 college lacrosse season has made conversation a more integral piece of coaching than ever before.

Of course, keeping lines of communication open while on the practice field or in games is always important, but because there haven’t been any face-to-face interactions between players and coaches since the middle of March, having honest discourse has been a focus for Princeton women’s lacrosse coach Chris Sailer.

“We’ve been conversing with our team with all sorts of different things since this happened,” Sailer said. “Being able to share how we’re feeling and being able to be vulnerable in front of each other and express who we are with each other, those are things we’ve done with our program well before this year. This was just a natural continuation.”

Expressing yourself is of particular importance to Sailer. As a gay woman, Sailer encourages inclusivity. She said that helping others be comfortable with themselves will ultimately create a better team culture and better society as a whole.

“I’m passionate about this as a human being,” she said. “I’m passionate about it as a coach of young people. As a gay woman, it’s important to be a good role model and promote the concept of diversity and acceptance and to help create inclusive communities for all of our players.

“I know that inclusion is always part of our message. If you’re talking from the standpoint of coaches, I think it should be part of every coach’s message. Our teams are made up of people from different backgrounds — different socioeconomic backgrounds, sexual orientations, different races. I don’t know how you can have a great team unless you create an inclusive environment.”

June is Pride Month, a month which celebrates the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. Sailer, who took over the Princeton program in 1987 and has since become the first Division I lacrosse coach — male or female — to eclipse 400 wins, recalled what it was like to find her voice and be comfortable with her true self.

“Coming out is not something that happened all at once,” Sailer said. “It doesn’t happen in one moment. Coming out happens your entire life. It’s a lifelong process. I came out to myself in college. I came out to some of my friends later in college. I came out to different family members in my 20s.”

A speaker at an IWLCA convention impacted her. The topic of the discussion was homophobia and how coaches have the responsibility to educate their teams.

At the time, the IWLCA media guides listed coaches with the names of their husbands or wives and children. Sailer’s bio never listed anything. That is until the year following that convention.

“I think the first time I came out was that next year,” Sailer said. “When the media guide came out, I said I lived with my partner and her name with our dog and where we lived. That was a big first step for me.”

Sailer stresses that she doesn’t consider herself a thought leader on this subject within the lacrosse community. But it’s difficult not to acknowledge her as a respected voice on the subject of inclusion within the sport.

As protests about racial injustice in the wake of the death of George Floyd continue, the national conversation continues to focus on diversity and equality for all. Sailer thinks lacrosse has come a long way, even if there’s still work to be done.

“I think players and young people in general feel so much more comfortable with themselves,” she said. “It’s young people who tend to move these movements along. You have more people who just talk more nonchalantly of the person they’re dating. There seems to be a much higher level of awareness and acceptance.”

Allies of the LGBTQ+ community should speak out, Sailer said, when they witness injustices. Homophobic comments should be condemned and not swept under the rug. Allowing hateful speech discourages people from being who they are.

“Silence signals acceptance,” she said.

At the 2016 Courage Game, Sailer spoke in front of those in attendance about acceptance. She said she doesn’t remember exactly what she said, but the message was something she is always delivering.

“When we force people to hide aspects of their true selves, there’s no way they can focus on the game of lacrosse or being a great teammate,” she said. “By being supportive and accepting and being inclusive of all people, we are going to allow our teammates to play to their fullest capacities and to be their best selves. I feel like that’s an obligation we have as coaches and that players have as teammates.”