This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Rachel Smith is the head coach at Ursinus College.
As of June 2021 (finally — COVID forced a reschedule), I will be marrying my best friend, who also happens to be a girls’ basketball coach at a private school in Maryland. When we first met, we were both coaching as graduate assistants, grinding our way through long days and learning so much about the profession, our sports and life.
Over the last six-and-a-half years, we have been able to share ideas, perspectives and use our respective sport’s X’s and O’s to come up with new concepts for one another. It is truly a blessing to be able to have that support from your significant other, whether you want it 100 percent of the time or not. It helps to know that they are your biggest fan and will support you no matter what, championing your ideas and uplifting you when you get down; however, they also tell you when you are overreacting and need to calm down (that’s all about me). Bottom line is they hold you accountable and keep you grounded.
One of the best things about being in a relationship with another coach has to be the understanding of your commitment. Commitment is something that, as a coach, you require from your team, and in turn you bring to the table, which means it takes up a lot of your time. Time for recruiting, time for traveling, time for weekend games, practices and spring break trips. Before this whole pandemic thing, we didn’t have much free time together, but we found ways to have memorable experiences and hang out with our families through planning in advance. We both agree that the pandemic has been amazing in that regard.
At the beginning of our relationship, I used to joke that he loved basketball more than he loved me. However, if we are being honest, our passion and love for both of our sports was our first true love. When we were 5 years old, we escaped in our sports and found so much joy from them. They taught us that there will be ups and downs in our journey just like in our relationship, and when we get knocked down, we will always get back up. They taught us that communication is a huge reason why teams and relationships are successful. They taught us to respect the game, the referees and opponents alike, along with one another. Most importantly, they taught us confidence in ourselves and in our relationship.
If you are fortunate enough to find another coach to share your life with you, I highly recommend it. Along with all the positives above, you also get two groups of student-athletes to watch grow and impact their lives, which is the reason why we all do what we do.