This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization.

Coaches in the collegiate sports world over the past several months have been firmly locked into crisis mode. They’ve managed the abrupt and disappointing end to the spring 2020 season, the uncertainty of the summer months and the increasingly unpredictable and frustrating nature of coaching while the COVID-19 global health crisis continued to evolve this fall. Despite that, they’ve modeled patience, adaptability, creativity and resilience and have remained unfailingly optimistic. The IWLCA asked its members to share some of the bright spots they’ve found in 2020 and what they are grateful for this holiday season.

Hannah Nielsen, Michigan

As an Aussie living in the United States with no family, 2020 has proven to be very difficult for me personally. However, I am so incredibly grateful and indebted to my close friends here who have served as my family and my support system in this very challenging year. From taking me in as a roommate, FaceTimes and calls until all hours of the night, and all the laughs and memories created over the course of the summer months, it is because of them that I will be able to reflect on this year in a positive way and remember the good more so than the bad. 

Maureen Spellman, Endicott

When most people look back at 2020 in a few years, they are going to remember panic, chaos, loss and fear. I’m going to remember 2020 as the year I was most grateful. Though I did feel all of those emotions briefly at some point during the last nine months, I mostly felt a sense of opportunity, growth, love, encouragement and support. I’m so grateful for everything I have in my life, but 2020 has left me feeling especially grateful. I’m so lucky to have spent the last nine months completing the house my wife and I have been building, adopting two kittens, perfecting my short game, working on the calluses on my hands from lifting and last but certainly not least, spending time with my players on the field. The incredible group of women I surround myself with has been nothing short of amazing this fall. My senior class has given me all the support and love they possibly could, and I could not be more grateful for them. I’m grateful for this incredible Endicott community that fell into my lap and the smiles behind the masks of all my coworkers. I’m grateful for my three-mile commute to work that takes me to a job I’m honestly obsessed with. I’m grateful for all the people in my life that love me unconditionally. I’m grateful that there are brighter days ahead for all of us! 

Brooke Diamond, Washington and Lee

I’m grateful for our 2020 graduating class and the grace with which they handled having our dream-like 2020 season come to a crashing halt. I’m grateful for the strength, resiliency and care for one another that our student-athletes have exhibited throughout the ups and downs of the past nine months. I’m grateful for our strength and conditioning coaches for going above and beyond in finding a way for our team to train in an outdoor environment this fall.

I’m grateful for my assistant coaches for all of the physical and emotional energy they have expended in counseling our women and keeping our team afloat through these trying weeks and months. I’m grateful for my coaching colleagues for providing so much guidance, wisdom and much-needed perspective while we all navigate these incredibly difficult and unchartered times. Finally, I’m incredibly grateful for my family and the time that we have been able to spend together. The “normal” schedule for a household with two coaches and two young children is an incredibly crazy one. While the pandemic is not something I would ever wish for, it has afforded us the incredible opportunity to be together in the most unexciting and yet invaluable ways.

Nicolette Dungee, Chowan

I am grateful I get to experience life and all that it has to offer with my family and my team, who just happen to also be my family. I have gratitude toward 2020 because it has made me more appreciative of my journey. I was blessed to be able to take notice and reflect upon the things I am grateful for. During such a challenging year, I was able to rewire. I was able to acknowledge and appreciate the little things, to deal with the present circumstances. I am thankful for health and well-being, food on the table, sunrise and sunsets and most importantly, waking up and seeing a new day. Even though this has been such a tough year, I also think we have to learn to STAY grateful. Remember the bad, remember how difficult life used to be and how far you have come. Make a vow to practice gratitude. Make a promise to perform good behavior and execute that action. Think outside the box. Continue to look for new situations and circumstances that make you feel grateful. Even though 2020 has been a challenging year, I pray everyone finds their reasons to be grateful, and remember — tough times don’t last, but tough people do! Happy Holidays, and stay blessed!

Kate Sjaardema, Keiser

One silver lining that came from the pandemic for me was being able to stay home longer with my new son. I had him four weeks before the big shut down, and I was supposed to go back six weeks after he was born, but ended up having six months at home with him. 

Janine Tucker, Johns Hopkins

“Obstacles exist for ONE REASON — to see how badly you want something.”

I’d say 2020 has been one big, giant, massive obstacle for all of us. Our resolve has been tested on every level. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. It’s been exhausting. It’s been draining. Yet it has been exhilarating as well. It may be challenging to find silver linings in the midst of all of this chaos — but they are there, and I am grateful. Grateful and inspired by a team of young women, facing incredible obstacles out of their control, but who choose to persevere anyway. Grateful to 40 sets of parents who are supporting and rallying around their daughters and their ingenuity, grit and dedication. Grateful to my assistant coaches and staff for their creativity, passion and drive. Grateful for this time with family.

Gratitude gives me strength. Gratitude gives me inspiration. Gratitude tells me to pull myself up by my bootstraps and rise to the occasion each and every day. Because these people I am so grateful for are counting on me. During this season of Thanksgiving, find for whom and for what you are grateful for — no matter how big or small — and allow yourself to be energized, inspired and motivated. Express your gratitude to the people in your world who mean the world to you … their smile will brighten your day and warm your soul. In the midst of all of the chaos, the silver linings are there … if we look hard enough.

Samantha Ekstrand, IWLCA Legal Counsel

My Bright Spots in 2020:

1. More time with our kids. They are hilarious and they grow up so quickly. I try to hold onto every moment with them.

2. A quarantine puppy, Oliver. Even though we have failed in our house-training efforts, everyone loves him.

3. A great deal on a Home Depot fire pit with blue crystal rocks in May. It has brought both peace and some fun outdoor gatherings within our “COVID pod.”

4. Bob taught himself how to play the guitar (and then ordered an electric guitar and an amplifier). His practice sessions in the middle of the night may not be my favorite, but this new hobby has brought him much joy.

5. The positive energy and optimism of people I get to work with. Adversity reveals a lot about people’s character and leadership.

6. The junk removal company that enabled us to park in our garage after 10 years. Well, at least one car. For a few days.

7. Our Costco membership that helped feed all of our kids at home all day and the pod on occasion, too. The rebate check that just came in the mail was bank.

8. Harris Teeter fuel points that accumulated over the spring and summer when we barely drove. I paid .97/gallon recently to fill up my Suburban.

9. The health and well-being of my family and friends. Watching the news each night, I feel very blessed.

10. The promising vaccines nearing government approval. Not only do they serve as a light in this pandemic tunnel, they also represent the brilliance, work ethic, commitment and ingenuity of the minds in science and medicine. I am thoroughly impressed and beyond grateful for their time, efforts and talents.

Anne Moelk, DePauw

While acknowledging that things are hard in a lot of ways these days, I find it easier than ever to be grateful this Thanksgiving. Despite quarantines and cancellations and missing many of my friends and family, being grateful is simpler now. I am grateful, and I realize incredibly lucky for the health of my loved ones. Having gratitude that I have a safe home, friends I can reach out to and the luxuries of the internet, smart phones and any kind of food I can imagine delivered is easy. The daily news programs show me thousands of others who are not as fortunate as I am, and it calls me to be helpful in easy ways like food and clothing donations. Perhaps the hardest thing is knowing how fortunate I truly am and feeling limited in the ways to be helpful because of lock downs and limitations on in-person volunteering. 

Being grateful for my employer who continues to acknowledge the importance of my work is something I might not have been grateful for in the past. I am also so grateful for all of my coaching colleagues who have shared their unique and creative ideas on how to engage my team differently than we have ever been called to before. Gratitude for the community of coaches with whom I work is easy. 

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” — Eckhart Tolle 

Alice Lee, Williams

I am thankful for my dog’s paw in the morning nudging me awake. I am thankful for Sam’s compassionate and judicious nuggets of wisdom in her Counsel’s Corner. I am thankful for my family’s health and our ability to share a meal this Thanksgiving. I am thankful for all the little moments throughout the day that have lit up and continue to light up my life.

Pat McCabe, Adelphi

Through the last year, we have all been challenged to take a good look at ourselves and decide what’s important. For me, it is mostly about family, friends and relationships. I am blessed with an amazing wife and three wonderful children (we have a great dog, too!). I have friends and family that I can rely on, who are there for me through all the ups and downs this life throws at us. So, I guess it’s the people in my life that I am most grateful for. Money and things are nice, but they don’t provide the emotional support and feedback that truly deep relationships offer. We all need people to prop us up when we’re down, straighten us out when we’re going off track, cheer us on in our big moments, or in many cases, just listen. I wake up every day knowing  that I can get through any challenge because I’ll never have to face it alone, and neither will anyone close to me as long as I’m around.

As a lacrosse coach, I am grateful for the leadership we have at Adelphi. It’s easy to take what we get to do for granted, but these challenging times have demonstrated the importance of strong leadership. President Riordan, our Athletic Director Danny McCabe and the senior leadership at Adelphi have worked tirelessly to give the faculty, staff and students the best chance to enjoy as normal an experience as possible throughout this abnormal time. Through all the uncertainty we have faced, there has never been a doubt that our leadership is doing everything possible to keep us safe and support the Adelphi community. The true measure of a leader is not what they do when things are easy, but when things are difficult. Everyone at Adelphi should be grateful for the leadership we are following each day.

Pamella Jenkins, Delaware State

2020 has definitely been a year to remember and unfortunately, not in a good way. It’s so easy to focus on the negatives that have happened, but 2020 did give us the opportunity to focus on what’s truly important — our family and ourselves. As coaches, we often take for granted spending time with our family, especially during the spring, as we are focused on our teams and seasons. During the pandemic, I had the opportunity to tune into some great webinars for both my personal and professional development. This year reminded me how important it is to care for one’s physical and mental health. I learned the hard way that you can’t pour into others if your own cup is empty. As coaches, we get so wrapped up in making sure our team is equipped, yet we often neglect ourselves in the process. The consequences of this in a pandemic can lead to being exposed to the virus, which then takes you away from your family who truly needs you, and everything in between. A few key takeaways from this year are to make time for myself and make sure those around me are doing that also. The importance of empathy and doing what’s in the best interest of all was on full display this year. When I think of what occurred since George Floyd, I often wonder if we weren’t in the midst of a pandemic when life stood still and the world watched what happened to him on May 25, would so many people be purposeful in wanting to create change? As we celebrate Thanksgiving, let’s remember to give thanks to our healthcare workers and all the sacrifices they have been forced to make during this pandemic, do our part to help curb the spread of the virus, be kind to one another and appreciate those we are blessed to have in your lives. Through all this adversity, we will be better and stronger on the other side. 

Chris Paradis, Amherst

The last months have been, for many of us, the most challenging times of our lives. Challenges present opportunities, and as coaches, we often teach our players to find the silver linings and make meaning of loss, setbacks and those low moments when it’s a struggle just to get back in the game.

As we approach the holiday of Thanksgiving, how do we find joy, gratitude and thanks when it may feel elusive? I always tell my players to keep breathing! Deep breaths calm the nervous system. Many of us have never been dealt such uncertainty and challenge, but let’s remember that through all of this, we are building our “resilience muscle” that will surely prove useful sometime down the road. While it is hard to stay present when we are not able to count on anything “for certain,” perhaps the best thing we can do is simply put one foot in front of the other and remind ourselves that there is much to be grateful for — and that every breath is a precious gift. May we all find peace amidst the chaos and trust that the strength we are cultivating will have a lasting presence in our lives. Peace, love and lax. 

Shelley Klaes, James Madison

I am amazed at how technology is allowing us to do so much, even though this job is about developing people. COVID has reminded me that I am so grateful that I have a job that I am truly passionate about. I appreciate the opportunity COVID has given me to understand what it feels like to be fully recovered and ready for work on Mondays. Being at home, while working and supporting the education of my two children, I have learned to appreciate the pleasure of “just going to the office” and ONLY having to manage the job that day. My children’s activities and social schedule have been way less, which has allowed us to slow down and take a breath, and be the mom I am always wanting to be when I am on the road recruiting or traveling with the team. 

Jen Fallon, New Haven

As coaches, I think we all know that gratitude in general helps build strong teams. This year has provided us with SO much to be grateful for. I am grateful for the community I have been able to lean on in these difficult time — colleagues, peers, student-athletes, friends and family. I’m grateful for the small personal connections I have had the chance to make with my student-athletes outside of lacrosse. I continue to be grateful for happy moments and for the ability to seek them out when they are not always obvious. I’m grateful for new experiences and new opportunities to learn. I’m grateful that I know things change. I often remind myself and my players that what we are going through will change, too.  

Meg Decker, Hartford

When I reflect back on 2020, it reminds me of the Japanese tradition of ‘kintsugi’ — the golden repair. It is a practice of restoring broken pottery by melting gold in the cracks to hold it together. In many ways, our worlds have been broken; things do not look the same as they once did. But I see the pieces picked up and put back together, golden threads now fill the cracks. Special moments with those we love, laughing over cereal for lunch and pancakes for dinner; realizing how many creative ways we can connect with those we love — from letters, to FaceTime, to front porch drop-offs and car parades! If we really think about it, our worlds haven’t been broken as much as redesigned … using much more beautiful pieces. So, cheers to golden threads and gratitude for all the ways we have pulled together through this year. Happy Thanksgiving!

Anne Phillips, William Smith

As we approach Thanksgiving and reflect on all that has transpired in 2020, it would certainly be easy to find things to complain about! As an avid golfer, I like to say that I am on the “back nine” of my coaching career (for you non-golfers, I am approaching the end of the second half). Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. As I think back on the last 20 years, I am grateful to those who have been influential in my life. I am grateful to my high school and college coaches, current colleagues and, of course, the members of my family who have supported me. As I look back, there were many remarkable coaches who had a major impact on my life. Though they taught me a lot about lacrosse, they also taught me many life lessons through sport. I am thankful to these women who gave their time and energy, in support of not just my athletic career, but me personally. They taught me about responsibility, goal setting, discipline, accountability, leadership, resiliency (and wow, is that coming in handy today!) and ultimately, how to compete and be successful in life. I am grateful to all of the important people in my life and for all they have given me. Though I have thanked them, I can never repay them. What I can do is ‘‘Pay It Forward.” 

Though 2020 continues to be challenging, I believe we will see progress in controlling the pandemic after the Holidays. As coaches, we will continue to find creative ways to teach life lessons through lacrosse. I am optimistic about the spring season, but however the 2021 season unfolds, I am grateful to have the opportunity to work with so many wonderful and talented young women. They seem to have a deeper love for the game and a greater appreciation for their teammates and the time we have together. I know I do! We will emerge stronger, resilient and yes, more “thankful” for each other.

Monica Plut, Eastern Oregon

I am thankful for what this year has taught me, no matter how hard the lessons were. I learned to slow down and enjoy the moment, to control the things I can control, and to learn to be even more flexible in every aspect. Although this year isn’t what we thought it would be, we are learning resilience during all of this! I am thankful for my supportive school, my team, and my friends and family!