This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Rainey Whitworth is the head coach at Southern Virginia University.
As a very young professional, I had just recently obtained the job of my dreams as head coach of women’s lacrosse at my alma mater. Then, the COVID virus became everyone’s reality, and it absolutely devastated me when sports and the world shut down. Feeling lost and depressed, I debated what action to take when all the students left campus to go home in mid-March. I felt myself sink into a dark place mentally, and yet at the same time, I felt the pressure to keep my team connected, challenged and inspired. Unfortunately, “faking it” was my new norm of dealing with personal losses, hardships and difficulties that were experienced by so many people throughout the world.
My salvation came in the form of an 8 a.m., Wednesday morning phone call with my mentor, Shari Krasnoo, a former IWLCA coach. Her guidance not only about lacrosse but about life in general helped me navigate some rough patches as my energy “tank” ran low. Like most coaches, I like to plan, prepare and execute an agenda to feel useful and needed. I relied heavily on my mentor, another influential coach on staff and my family. These influential people around me were my support system and kept me going at a time when it would have been so easy to spiral downward, both physically and mentally. By continuing small and seemingly insignificant interactions with these individuals, I began to dig out of my dark hole and look inward as to my personal identity without the game of lacrosse.
As a young head coach, I crave opportunities to learn and grow, and this guidance from Shari has been my lifeline. Shari has sacrificed her time and continues to pass on her knowledge, and I have been fortunate enough to have her in my corner. All the lessons I am learning are assisting me to better lead my players in future capacities. My feelings are summed up in this quote by Steven Spielberg:
“The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your image but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.”
Staying in constant contact with others who love and care for me is vital during this time. Now I am in a place to feel grateful for my personal hardships because it brings me closer to those who motivate and encourage me to keep progressing. I more fully appreciate the “small” or simple things that I rely on to help me feel normal, like the daily interactions with my players, or that weekly phone call from my mentor.
Lastly, the young ladies on my team are my absolute first priority and continue to serve as my “why” on my quest for achieving my life goals. They need me to bolster their spirits and push them to reach their highest physical, mental and spiritual potential, and what they may not always realize is that I need them to do the same for me. Whatever I am able to do for my players, they send back to me tenfold. It is funny how I always knew this to be the case, but in these past months, I have a renewed conviction and gratitude for how blessed I am to coach such an outstanding group of players who respect and recognize me as their leader. In turn, I can only hope to reflect their shining light of faith in me right back onto each of them.