This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Meg Leo is the head women's lacrosse coach at New England College.
A few weeks ago, we were wrapping up our week-long trip to Colorado with a team bonding day; a trip to an adventure park, plus driving up Pikes Peak. Everyone was psyched. We pushed ourselves to the limit on our spring training trip. We challenged ourselves with the altitude. We explored places we had never been. We did it all together, as a team, and we deserved this.
As we were winding down that night, finishing up the last of the laundry (the piles and piles of laundry) and eating dinner, the buzz throughout the whole house was that this was the best spring break trip yet. Barely anything had gone wrong (seatbelt jammed in the van door? No problem!), we only had snow for part of one day and we were successful. Everyone was excited to go home, have a few days off and then start it all up again. How could we not have a great season when this was how it started?
When we arrived back in New Hampshire, collected all of our bags and were finally on the bus back to campus, one of my players said, “Coach, my friend just said she may not get to go on her trip because of the virus.” I kept my cool, turned to her and said, “Oh, I’m sure everything will be fine. They aren’t leaving for another week.” Internally, my mind was racing. Could that happen? If that does happen, what does that mean for us? For other teams? For the season?
Once back in town, my team parted ways, ready for rest but eager to tackle the rest of the spring. And then the sports world came to a grinding halt. No need for me to rehash it all for you. I’m sure it is seared into your memory as it is into mine. The uncertainty that came with these announcements was a hard pill to swallow, and the questions that I didn’t have answers to made me feel like I was failing my student-athletes.
We had meetings upon meetings with our colleagues, with our teams, with everyone. What is the best thing to do? How can we be supportive to each student? Is virtual learning the best course of action? So many questions without concrete answers. But one thing remains the same: We are all in this together. We are a team. The only thing I could think to do to fully support my student-athletes was to remain positive, to help keep their heads up and their focus forward and to find the silver lining inside this dark cloud.
The power of positivity is huge. It may sound cheesy, but it is exactly what is needed right now. With social media, the actual media, email, snail mail, TV, internet, Zoom, Skype and FaceTime, there is no way to avoid what is happening in the world. It’s hard to control that, but I realized I can control what I am putting out there to my student-athletes: My attitude, my posts, my group chat messages. For so many of them, my coaching staff and I are anchors. We bring stability and guidance in so many aspects of their lives, not just on the field. Providing a positive perspective on things can keep our students from laying in their beds all day and wishing that things were different, even though we are all thinking the same thing. It’s finding a way for us to continue on as a team even though the practices and the games are no longer there.
For us, it meant starting virtual lunches. It meant sharing photos of our pets (or pets we wish were ours!). We are providing each other with workout tips or holding our teammates accountable to get moving each day. We are leaning on each other, virtually, of course. We are trying to remain optimistic and keep looking for that silver lining. I am heartbroken our season was cut short. I won’t deny there were tears, lots of them. Through the tears and the sadness, I knew part of the job we all love so dearly is to guide. By staying positive and providing opportunities for us to connect, albeit virtually, we are pushing through this in the only way we know how — as a team.
A team is defined as a group of individuals working together to achieve a common goal. When we started in January, our goal was to win games, repeat as conference champion and collect more milestones together. Now our goal has changed. Our goal is to surround ourselves with each other, to push through the hard part, to give each other someone to rely on. This has always been a part of being a team, but now we need it more than ever. We will be back together eventually. Some of us will be missing, moving to the next phase in life, but I am positive one fact remains the same — once a team, always a team.