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This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Rachel Bragg is the head coach at Bridgewater College.

For those who have coached with or played for Kristen Stuckel, head coach at Muhlenberg College, you’ve heard this classic “Stuckelism” a number of times: “Be comfortable with the uncomfortable.”

A “Stuckelism” is a term used by former Muhlenberg players to describe Coach Stuckel’s classic quotes. After coaching for her for two years, I brought this quote to my program at Bridgewater College. For a message so simplistic when first heard, it makes complete sense to describe this uncomfortable, difficult time of COVID-19.

Very few people were alive during the flu pandemic of 1920, therefore as a population NO ONE has known what to expect when dealing with COVID or how to adapt. Each individual has had to figure it out on their own — parents have had to become full-time teachers, businesses have had to close, summer camps and daycares have been closed, and the list goes on.

As individuals, our lives were turned upside down. But as coaches, this has affected a lot more than our daily routines; it has affected our players, programs, seasons and recruiting. Depending on how you look at this outcome, it can have a very negative impact on all of us, but I want to talk about the positives of this “new normal” and how the best thing I have done is “be comfortable with the uncomfortable.”

ADAPTING (BETTER)

As coaches, we must adapt quickly — whether it’s changing practice on the fly, figuring out a plan for overtime, or mixing up the game plan because it’s not working the way we predicted.

We have all been there, but adapting to the constant changes of COVID-19 was more difficult for me than coming up with a quick fix for a game. In dealing with a lack of control and the constant battle of “what if” questions running through my head, I realized that I control myself, and I had to find a way to overcome this feeling of constant discomfort. For the first couple of weeks, it was great because my day was filled with Zoom meetings with my players, so there was a sense of normalcy. But once that was over, another adjustment period began.

I realized very quickly that without the little sense of normalcy, I had to find ways to fill my time. I had to ask myself, “Who am I outside of being a lacrosse coach?”

LEARNING MORE ABOUT “ME”

I know the basics about myself — likes, dislikes, improvements, achievements and that I am meant to be a coach. When I dig deeper, most of these things revolve around my job. With the lacrosse world on hold, I had to ask myself, “Who am I outside of being a lacrosse coach?”

It’s important to have a strong sense of self to be a strong leader, but I had hit a point where my job had become my life and there was no separating the two. It was not the easiest question for me to answer; I had to get to know who I was as a person, and it felt uncomfortable.

Without sharing too much detail, I realized I had changed drastically since I last asked myself this question. I was surprised about some of the new things I like to do and some things I had to continue throughout the year to be the best me (i.e. drinking my coffee while listening to a record every morning). The last thing I want to do is be preachy, but I encourage all coaches to ask themselves this question because what I have realized is that we have to remember there’s more to us than our job titles and some qualities within ourselves can get lost with everything else we do.

BEING COMFORTABLE WITH THE UNCOMFORTABLE

We’ve been in a constant cycle of change since March with our seasons being canceled, milestones lost for our players, great potential seen by coaches put on hold and recruiting timelines changed. As coaches, we experienced a roller coaster of emotions, but we had to find ways to adapt. We had to be creative when it came to team meeting activities, virtual tours of campus or Instagram takeovers, talking to recruits about anything other than lacrosse, and alumni engagement.

With all the ups and downs, I think it is important to accept the downs and appreciate the ups. COVID-19 has forced me to realize that I must be comfortable with controlling what I can control, embrace the “new normal” to help my team see it as a positive and a duty to protect others, and lastly the importance of accepting “me time,” whether it is five minutes or a whole day — no matter how uncomfortable it might feel.

I hope y’all can embrace the lifestyle of “being comfortable with the uncomfortable” if you do not live this way already. I have a feeling we have more changes coming our way!

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