How it shaped my own college experience
Entering a “lacrosse family”
A few years after I graduated from college, I was home for the holidays, and my dad had an evening recruiting event to attend in the Syracuse area. Naturally, my mom and I tagged along for the ride. We were sitting in a small restaurant in Skaneateles as she told me how nervous she had been when I left my “home” friends to head off for college. I had a really close-knit group in high school, and she wasn’t sure how I’d adjust without them.
This was so interesting for me to hear because this was never something that even crossed my mind as I transitioned from Brighton High School to Syracuse University. I had an instant family within my lacrosse team. My coach’s daughters were both my teammates for most of my career at SU. Another teammate and I clicked instantly during our freshman year because her dad is also a college lacrosse coach. She’s one of my best friends to this day, and we often reminisce on our very similar childhoods. It was so wonderful to enter an environment at ‘Cuse where I had teammates who had similar upbringings and could easily relate to the experiences that I had.
To have a coaching dad on speed dial during my college years was especially helpful when I needed to navigate situations that I wasn’t too proficient in. The circumstances I would share were not new to him, and the conversations would often end with reminders like, “Be a great leader and teammate,” or, “Control what you can control,” or “Just keep working your butt off.” Each time I’d hear those words on the phone, I would, and still do, flash back to being in my dad’s office as a kid, eavesdropping on individual meetings where he’d repeat those same phrases to his own student-athletes. Even as an 8-year-old, scribbling on printer paper with sharpies pretending not to listen, those words thrilled me.
“Be a great leader and teammate.”
“Control what you can control.”
“Just keep working your butt off.”
It all seemed so easy to do through my high school years when I was a top player and a team captain. My playing ability allowed me to work my butt off, without actually working my butt off, and it allowed me to more easily control the mental aspect of my game. Being a team captain gave me leadership by default.
As I transitioned to ‘Cuse, my role changed. I went from being “high on the totem pole,” to “bottom of the barrel,” and if I wanted to be successful, I had to adjust. I could control my work ethic, I could control the energy I brought to practice and games and I could control how I treated everyone on my team. These “controllables” allowed for me to gain a sense of leadership that was different than the way I led in high school.
Why I decided to follow my Dad’s path
Creating a “lacrosse family”
That new sense of leadership was addicting. The understanding of trust and family that those “controllables” created were powerful. It provided me a high that I didn’t want to come down from.
I crave the ability to instill into current players that same sense of family, leadership and energy that my dad instilled in me. Accomplishing goals with a team, working harder than you thought you could and training your brain to become mentally stronger in times of adversity are extremely gratifying and lead to success both on and off the field.
I know that I want to create that environment for others. I know that the lessons learned and relationships made will impact the rest of their lives.
Every coach has a coach that inspired them to become a coach.
For me, that coach is my dad.