This story initially appeared on Behind the Whistle, the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Sue Murphy is a former head coach of the University of Richmond, Boston University and Muhlenberg College.

Some of you might know me as a former high school player from Boyertown, Pa., who was given an opportunity to play at the University of Massachusetts, as a U.S. squad member, or perhaps we crossed paths when I was the head coach at Muhlenberg College, Boston University or the University of Richmond.

You might have heard of my grit as a former U.S. squad selection chair, Division I college coach representative to the USA Lacrosse Board of Directors and Board of Governors or when I was fortunate to coach the U.S. Developmental National Team. Others might have heard of my passion to build local youth recreational and travel teams (STORM) in central Virginia, at River City Sportsplex or at Beach Blast Lax in Delaware. Let’s just say, I share YOUR PASSION, and I have always felt fortunate to say that the sport of lacrosse has been a huge part of my life.

Like you, my passion remains the same to this day — to educate and empower young women (players, coaches, teammates, daughters). For all the wonderful opportunities I have been allotted in this lacrosse journey, I have faced some very difficult life battles as well. During those tough times, I would always DIG DEEP and use the tools that my lacrosse experiences taught me, like how to fight, self-advocate, push through, overcome and find the positive. I would learn, heal and grow. I would rebuild and forge forward in all these circumstances ... after all, I was one tough coach!

Until September 2, 2021, when I went for a routine mammogram. I could tell something was not right when they asked me to come to another room for an ultrasound. Then another doctor came in to review the results, and I just knew. I had tears in my eyes trying so hard to be brave. Trying to compose myself and listen to what I needed to do for my next steps. I will never forget sitting in my car alone in a parking lot, crying and scared to death of the unknown. I have two daughters, Abby (27 and engaged) and Sara (17 and a high school senior at that time). Crazy thoughts raced in my head! Thoughts of missing Sara’s high school senior year, her graduation and college lacrosse games, and Abby’s wedding and future grandkids and so much more. Oh, my mind just raced, and I was so scared. How would I tell my kids and be that brave mom so as not to scare them? I needed to get ready for the fight of my life.

Before September 2021 drew to a close, I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Stage 2/Grade 3, ER + and PR + and HER-2 negative in my right breast. A plan of attack with information gathering was being created to include multiple MRIs, three biopsies (two were benign, yeah!), meeting with a surgeon, and genetic testing for BRCA1/BRCA2 to know if this could affect my own daughters, as I had no family history of breast cancer. It was in these first few weeks that I had former players and coaches ask me to share my journey on social media. To be honest, I did not want to tell many people, let alone share it on social media. I was worried if this cancer had spread, and ultimately, how I was going to navigate this, as I was juggling a separation leading to divorce during my treatment. But I grew stronger with my support circle, and I leaned in on my WHY — educate and empower young women! 

So, I did share my story, but I also shared educational information about self-exams — that Mammograms should start by age 40 and to try to have your insurance pay for a 3D Mammogram, BRCA1/BRCA2 and CHEK2 genetic testing, lumpectomy vs. mastectomy studies, a new Brachytherapy radiation treatment, hormone therapy medication, how 76 percent of women are overmedicated with chemotherapy and how taking the Oncotype test can help your oncologist with the chemotherapy decision, education on stage and grade of mass, what is not covered by insurance, and more.

I found myself in a very strange position where this incredible support circle became “my coach,” and I was now deemed the “coachable player.” That circle included visits, messages and gifts of love and support from my high school teammates, college teammates, USA teammates and coaches, University of Massachusetts staff and team members, Boston University staff and players, my own college players from Muhlenberg, BU and Richmond, my travel team players, a #suestrong t-shirt fundraiser and Go-Fund me driven by my travel team coaches, my daughter’s high school coaches and teams, lifelong and new friends, my family, and the IWLCA membership. That circle, that special circle, gave me the strength to tackle each day with hope and keep my mind positive.

When I shared my diagnosis in September 2021, I immediately heard from Kerstin Kimel (2015 diagnosis), current Duke University head coach, and Bowen Holden (2019 diagnosis), former Boston College head coach. I knew they truly understood how hard many moments were and would be, both mentally and physically, as a warrior, a mom, and especially as a coach who is not used to sharing your own personal fears or journey. It just goes to show how special this lacrosse world can be when you find yourself in your toughest life battle. I turned to these special #pinksisters more than once and they did not let me down.

My lumpectomy surgery on November 17, 2021, went well, and the pathology report returned with great news of clean margins, no lymph node involvement (no spread of cancer) and even lowered my Stage from 2 to 1. Unfortunately, I had an infection post-surgery which kept me down and out for quite a while. I might have missed out on some holiday family traditions, but I was fighting to be at the next 30-plus!

The Oncotype test results (0-100) came back with a score of a 21 (my lacrosse game number). If I had a score of 25 or higher, I would have needed chemotherapy. I emphasize that the Oncotype test is not always offered and/or covered by insurance, but it should be!

In February 2022, I moved into planning for radiation and was fortunate to be a candidate for the NEW Brachytherapy radiation because I was over 45, early stage DCIS (invasive) breast cancer, hormone positive, node negative, smaller than 3mm with clear margins after lumpectomy. In my opinion, Brachytherapy radiation was much easier than 4-6 weeks of Monday-Friday of traditional external radiation and fatigue. Further research and studies will continue to offer women better options for treatment.

In April 2022, I started my hormone therapy medication. This is in pill form to be taken for five or more years to help block estrogen/cancer recurrence. Unfortunately, I had some very serious side effects, which affected my quality of life. However, after reviewing the 16-percent recurrence rate of the same cancer in the same location, it was decided that I would discontinue hormone therapy at this time.

My first mammogram was this past July 2022 and it read NO CANCER! 

When the game is over, we as coaches like to learn and reflect, especially after tough moments. Wow, what a fight, what a journey. What a win! We also know we as coaches are more than just Xs and Os, and we should be. We are mentors, even in our own painful personal journeys, to the incredible young women that we have in our lives, even if only for a lacrosse season. While you have that captive audience, educate and empower young women! 

I have former college players who to this day will tell their own children, “10 minutes early is late,” or, “Show me some urgency,” even, “Body language,” and I am sure a few other choice lines. If our players can remember their lacrosse experiences, let’s make sure they know how to make their health a priority after their days on the field are over. Breast cancer doesn’t care if you are tough. It doesn’t care if you have no family history, and it certainly does not discriminate. Please take that time, especially during the Breast Cancer Awareness Month of October, to educate your players, your own daughters, mothers, sisters and more. Keep this information in mind:

• One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer

• 3D Mammograms should start at age 40

• Self-Exam info:  https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-self-exam

As for me, I moved to Charlotte, North Carolina, while navigating the empty nest and am back to playing pickleball. I am helping to plan Abby’s wedding in June 2023. I am traveling to cheer (like a mom) on Sara and the Winthrop University team during her freshman fall season. I am putting my health first — losing unwanted weight, getting active, creating healthy habits and helping others do the same. I am a proud SURVIVOR and will continue to share my story in hopes it will help just one woman.

As one of my favorite mentors, the late Diane Geppi-Aikens, once said … “Lucky Every Day.”